A message to men I
Tired after a hard week’s job, I decided to rest at home on Saturday. After two movies and breakfast I slept off. I had planned on the sleep to recoup from the lost sleep earlier in the week. I was near scowling when my mobile phone buzzed. I looked at the screen with a hazy eye and saw it was Johnson. I picked it and the only thing i heard made me even angrier. “I’m coming to your place. No excuses”. The next thing that popped into my mind was a whole day of political and contemporary discussions laced with unending arguments. I had stocked my fridge the night before. I cried silently inside, this dude was going to empty the contents; fruits and drinks, alcohol and non-alcohol. I closed my mind and before i could take a ten minute nap, he was at my gate blaring his horn.
Clad in jeans pants and a polo t shirt, Johnson stood tall at six foot eight inches. Intelligent and witty, he has this signature smile that endears people to him. Unfortunately, there was no smile today. I was already smiling when I saw him driving in from a distance but as i saw there was no smile in his face, I was very alert. As I welcomed him, he barely shook my hands and headed for the fridge, grabbed an apple and sat down. I took the apple from him, went to the fridge took more apples and headed to wash it with salt solution in the kitchen. I returned soon enough and like in a rehearsed speech. He started gently. As a stammerer somebody I know very well, I marvelled at the fluency of his speech. His rage had disappeared.
“Could you imagine these people?” he asked.
“Which people Johnnie?”, I countered. It was his usual entrance technique to win your attention. He always starts with either a joke or a question.
“My in-laws. They said my sister will marry her husband’s younger brother.”
I was shocked. “Is there any place this kind of thing still happens?”, I asked.
“My sister said the people worship a deity and that if she refuses all her five children will die mysterious deaths one after the other till she is left with none.”
I was startled. I wondered, how could people be practicing such crude custom. I recalled that just days back, the world celebrated International Women’s Day. I recalled that I had seen United Nations secretary general, Ban Ki Moon urging world leaders, presidents and men to give women opportunities because “equality to women means progress for all”, he said.
Drawing inspiration from the theme, Moon narrated the story of a lady activist Fahma Mohammed who according to him was inspiring change through campaigning against Female Genital Mutilation. He also mentioned the closing of the UN mission in Sierra Leone to allow the country develop in a more peaceful way.
"We know the challenges before us. Throughout the world, discrimination against women and girls is rampant, and in some cases getting worse.
But we also know equality for women is progress for all.
Countries with higher levels of gender equality have higher economic growth.
Companies with more women on their Boards have higher returns.
Peace agreements that include women are more successful.
Parliaments with more women take up a wider range of issues – including health, education, anti-discrimination, and child support.
Gender equality and women’s empowerment have been a top priority for me from day one as Secretary-General. And I am committed to making sure that the UN leads by example", he said.
I recalled that he also said that "Today, the top humanitarian official of the United Nations … our top development official … the head of peace building support and the head of disarmament, [the head of human rights], the Joint OPCW-UN Mission on the destruction of Syria’s chemical weapons, and the World Food Programme – not to mention our own Chief of Staff … all of them are women.
“...There have been important advances – more girls in schools, more women in parliaments.
Yet progress has been far too slow and uneven. A baby girl born today will still face inequality and discrimination, no matter where her mother lives. We must commit to her right to live free from the violence that affects one in three women globally; to equal pay for equal work; to an equal say in the decisions that affect her life; and to her fundamental right to decide if and when she will have children, and how many she will have. To every girl born today, and to every woman and girl on the planet, our message is that human rights are not a dream. They are a duty for which we must all work until they are universally realized. Next year will mark twenty years since the Beijing Women’s Conference... Next year is also the deadline for our work to craft the post-2015 agenda and sustainable development goals.
Women’s rights, women’s empowerment, and gender equality are essential components of this conversation – including reproductive rights and ending violence against women”, he said in New York that day, I recalled. But he didn’t just stop there. He went further. He drove the message home. He addressed the average boy and man.
“This is a conversation for all of us. That is why today I make a special appeal to the men and boys of the world: Join us. Take the message forward in your homes, your workplaces, your schools, and your communities: Where men and women have equal rights, societies prosper.
As we celebrate International Women’s Day, let us recommit to equality and empowerment in all that we do. Equality for women is progress for all.”
I could not justify or even find the raison d’etre behind the practice. No matter how much I thought about it, I could not come up with one tangible reason backing up this practice. This to some extent infuriated me. Rather than help the widow come over her grief, they are allotting her like a piece of property.
I didn’t know I was in a trance till Johnnie tapped me to bring me back to the mundane.
Clad in jeans pants and a polo t shirt, Johnson stood tall at six foot eight inches. Intelligent and witty, he has this signature smile that endears people to him. Unfortunately, there was no smile today. I was already smiling when I saw him driving in from a distance but as i saw there was no smile in his face, I was very alert. As I welcomed him, he barely shook my hands and headed for the fridge, grabbed an apple and sat down. I took the apple from him, went to the fridge took more apples and headed to wash it with salt solution in the kitchen. I returned soon enough and like in a rehearsed speech. He started gently. As a stammerer somebody I know very well, I marvelled at the fluency of his speech. His rage had disappeared.
“Could you imagine these people?” he asked.
“Which people Johnnie?”, I countered. It was his usual entrance technique to win your attention. He always starts with either a joke or a question.
“My in-laws. They said my sister will marry her husband’s younger brother.”
I was shocked. “Is there any place this kind of thing still happens?”, I asked.
“My sister said the people worship a deity and that if she refuses all her five children will die mysterious deaths one after the other till she is left with none.”
I was startled. I wondered, how could people be practicing such crude custom. I recalled that just days back, the world celebrated International Women’s Day. I recalled that I had seen United Nations secretary general, Ban Ki Moon urging world leaders, presidents and men to give women opportunities because “equality to women means progress for all”, he said.
Drawing inspiration from the theme, Moon narrated the story of a lady activist Fahma Mohammed who according to him was inspiring change through campaigning against Female Genital Mutilation. He also mentioned the closing of the UN mission in Sierra Leone to allow the country develop in a more peaceful way.
"We know the challenges before us. Throughout the world, discrimination against women and girls is rampant, and in some cases getting worse.
But we also know equality for women is progress for all.
Countries with higher levels of gender equality have higher economic growth.
Companies with more women on their Boards have higher returns.
Peace agreements that include women are more successful.
Parliaments with more women take up a wider range of issues – including health, education, anti-discrimination, and child support.
Gender equality and women’s empowerment have been a top priority for me from day one as Secretary-General. And I am committed to making sure that the UN leads by example", he said.
I recalled that he also said that "Today, the top humanitarian official of the United Nations … our top development official … the head of peace building support and the head of disarmament, [the head of human rights], the Joint OPCW-UN Mission on the destruction of Syria’s chemical weapons, and the World Food Programme – not to mention our own Chief of Staff … all of them are women.
“...There have been important advances – more girls in schools, more women in parliaments.
Yet progress has been far too slow and uneven. A baby girl born today will still face inequality and discrimination, no matter where her mother lives. We must commit to her right to live free from the violence that affects one in three women globally; to equal pay for equal work; to an equal say in the decisions that affect her life; and to her fundamental right to decide if and when she will have children, and how many she will have. To every girl born today, and to every woman and girl on the planet, our message is that human rights are not a dream. They are a duty for which we must all work until they are universally realized. Next year will mark twenty years since the Beijing Women’s Conference... Next year is also the deadline for our work to craft the post-2015 agenda and sustainable development goals.
Women’s rights, women’s empowerment, and gender equality are essential components of this conversation – including reproductive rights and ending violence against women”, he said in New York that day, I recalled. But he didn’t just stop there. He went further. He drove the message home. He addressed the average boy and man.
“This is a conversation for all of us. That is why today I make a special appeal to the men and boys of the world: Join us. Take the message forward in your homes, your workplaces, your schools, and your communities: Where men and women have equal rights, societies prosper.
As we celebrate International Women’s Day, let us recommit to equality and empowerment in all that we do. Equality for women is progress for all.”
I could not justify or even find the raison d’etre behind the practice. No matter how much I thought about it, I could not come up with one tangible reason backing up this practice. This to some extent infuriated me. Rather than help the widow come over her grief, they are allotting her like a piece of property.
I didn’t know I was in a trance till Johnnie tapped me to bring me back to the mundane.
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